Self insert outside fan spiral (on ice) is a live action figure skating fan fiction / a heaving wet totally real figure skating event made up of lots of bits of slippery, pleasurable neurodivergent overwhelm.
Here are some facts about figure skating: there are no facts in figure skating only very strong opinions. A spiral is when you glide on one blade for a long time either forwards or backwards with the other foot raised. A fan spiral is a back outside edge spiral where the legs look like the edges of a fan if it was a really dangerous fan made from legs.
(on ice) takes place on an amplified piece of real fake ice and like any real figure skating event includes a six minute warm-up, Carmens, Boleros, Swan Lakes, Phantoms, lifts, quadruple Axels, alien mpreg, crystals, illusion mesh, bears, short programmes, medium programmes, long programmes, and several ice resurfacing breaks. The ice resurfacing machine is probably the best figure skater of all time. His name is Zamboni and he makes the ice with his teeth and his liquids and he’s sooooo sexy.
(on ice) is a live performance situated within the same alternate universe version of figure skating as kiss&cry and kiss&cry:irl, exploring the on-ice aspects of figure skating: music performed to over and over and oer by different skaters, the costumes, gestures and rules.
(on ice) premiered on the 15th of October 2025 at Take Me Somewhere festival to sold out audiences: https://takemesomewhere.co.uk/self-insert-outside-fan-spiral-on-ice . All still images on this page were taken by Tiu Makkonen, the videos are by Diana Dumitrescu.
This project was comissioned by Take Me Somewhere Festival and has also received support from Creative Scotland, Unlimited, Tramway and National Theatre of Scotland.
Credits
Made by Jo Hauge in collaboration with sound designer Nicol Parkinson
Producer and Access Support: Siân Baxter
Movement Direction and Movement Dramaturgy: Emma Lewis-Jones
R&D Movement Direction: Aby Watson
Prop Design / Dramaturgical Support: Mamoru Iriguchi
Costume Design: Saira Harvey
Lighting Design: Michaella Fee
Production Manager: Lee Davis